Move along, there's nothing to see here on this Monday - Monday 27th July

I woke early in anticipation of our Pearl Harbor trip.
The tour company had left a message on our answering machine to call them as soon as possible.
As they open at 5am and it was now 7:30am I called.
The news was that they could not fit us in today but there were three spot tomorrow.
Not the optimum outcome but still OK. The lesson is to not take as gospel an online booking. 
They seem very, VERY laid back in this part of the world and they have an intimate grasp of the mañana concept on life.
We should all be like that.
I thought "I could have laid in for a little longer but we'll fill the day with other stuff quite easily."
First up I gave Aloha Jet Ski a call and left a message. 
Yep, I reckon I'lll get a call back from them 10 minutes after the second coming of Christ.
Service in this place vacillates between sickly sweet and bloody awful. 
Aloha Jet Ski service level is the later. 

"What else is really high on my must do list?" I thought.
Bailey's Antiques and Aloha Shirts deserves and needs a visit.

We had some brekky and headed off for our 25 minute walk there.
It's in this utter nondescript part of town. In fact it's way beyond the end of the tourist area and at the start of where the locals live.

You step into his shop and it is a treasure trove of shirts, mainly, but a lot of other old stuff too.
I listened to him talking to clients on the phone as well as several customers.
I think that in between setting blunts alight he has accumulated more knowledge on Hawaiian style shirts than anyone on the planet. 

I didn't have anything specific in mind but I managed to buy four shirts.
Two for me and two for a dear friend to whom I am indebted to.
Here are the four items of exquisite beauty -

Impressive collection, don't you think?

And look what else we saw today - 

  Not quite a Porsche, but definitely a whale tail! 

The afternoon was a lazy one. 

No sightseeing, no long walks along the beach, no shopping expeditions, no cultural exhibitions. Nada. Niente. Zip.

Having said that, the air-conditioning in the apartment was most welcome.

Seven o'oclock cam awfully fast and we were a bit peckish.
Peckish enough to wander out into the masses to find a place to eat.
I really didn't feel like going too far and I remembered a Japanese place in our street that has a queue every night. Now that seems like a contradiction to my normal way of choosing a place outside of Japan but there always the exception, and tonight was one of them.
We were told a table would be ready in 15 minutes and, predictably, 40 minutes later we were sat down.

Thankfully, the food, although nowhere near authentic, was good and reasonably priced. They even had good nihonshu, which made  Tiz happy.

We go home quite early and just a little knackered so after watching a bit of TV we hit the sack.

Tomorrow we kamikaze Pearl Harbor!
What?
No?   

Too early?

Waking up in Waikiki - Sunday 26th June

We managed to "join the human race" at around 10am, and it felt like we'd slept for ten minutes.

We needed coffee first and foremost so we headed off to the local Honolulu Coffee Shop. They say they're coffee tastes nutty. I disagree. I think it tastes OK.

I needed a change of clothes, like some shorts and a T-shirt, and some lighter shoes, like a pair of thongs (aka flip flops, to the rest of the world).

Oh, I forgot to tell you about our disastrous trip to Ala Moana Shopping Centre yesterday. It was a disaster. This shopping centre is messy, as in difficult to find shops and access them, by anyones standards. 
It tends to cater for high end tourists, with Louis Vitton, YSL, Bottega Veneta etc, etc. Yeah, that's me, NOT.
We did find a Macy's but the young staff there were more interested in having a chat amongst each other and when they occasionally got around to serving a customer they looked like and spoke like they'd been sedated.
I stood in a cue of three for about 10 minutes and then gave up. 

So today I was still looking for the three items of dress that I'd tried to buy yesterday.  

We went for a walk down Kalakaua Avenue and came across The Flip Flop Shop, right next door to The Stupid Shop.

Here are but a few blog safe gems that they sell, as posters, on t-shirts and who knows what else.

The Flip Flop Shop sell thongs (again, not the ones boys like to see under girls outer clothing) and only thongs. I walked in thinking "Yep, I'll get something good for $10." WRONG
I ended of buying a pair of O'Neill's for $23 but they had units worth over $130.
Yes, they were leather and embossed and really really good BUT they were thongs. Thongs should not cost $130. Period.
The young bloke that served me, Dalten, was really nice and when asked as to where he buys his shorts and Tees he sent us over to Billabong.
So off went over the road and luckily the were having a sale and had "big boy" sizes. I ended with a pair of Billabong shorts and a T-shirt for $54, which is cheap for two items from a shop like that.

By now it was getting to be late afternoon and we could feel the need for a drink. We wandered over to the beach and set about finding a bar with an beach view.
That was a great idea and one that about 10,000 other people had had about an hour earlier. 

Here we are on the beach discovering that every bar is full, and a bit.

The solution was easy and obvious. Everyone in Waikiki wants to sit at a bar with beach view, on the beach, but there are hundred of other bars way up in high rise building and in back alleys. We'd simply head off and find one! Simples!
As we walked down Kalakaua Avenue towards the apartment we came across an elevator that took patrons from street level to a Tanaki fromTokyo restaurant on level 3 and Buho Cocina y Cantina, a Mexican place, on the level 4 rooftop.
We'd had really great Japanese in Japan not that long ago so the hombres with a rooftop view won.

It was great night made even better by our waitress Josephine.

Josephine - friendly and helpful

...... is worth more money and works here

We had a feast at this place and it was our first experience with the much heard about phrase "We should have ordered one meal for all three of us. The serves were THAT big!"

Here are various shots of food, booze and assorted silliness.

The start of what turned out to be a big night.

How big? Spent $3 on fluid to every $1 of solids, roughly.

Great beers and Mexican stout.

The Clown Shoes dark beer makes Guinness look and taste like trash. 

 

Greg enjoying himself

I love Cholula. Tasty and just the right amount of hot.

A prawn thingy - Yummy and three times too big for one person

Fish tacos - Yummy and three times too big for one person

Chicken tortillas - Yummy and three times too big for one person

 We were also lucky enough to catch a fireworks show, 
which was unusual for a Sunday night.
Lucky us.

We waddled home around 10pm as we needed a good night sleep before heading off to spend the day at Pearl Harbor tomorrow.

Arriving in Honolulu on a Saturday morning - Saturday 5th July

We arrived at 8:30am to a typical July day. 28 degrees and sunny. Wonderful.
The exit from the airport was not as privileged as the other end and we queued up along with everyone else.
It took quite a while. Having everyone go through a finger printing and photo session, albeit both of them being digital, adds time.

Once out we caught a shuttle bus to the Century Centre to drop off our bags.

***

SOME PERSONAL THOUGHTS ABOUT TIPPING IN AMERICA

What happened at the drop off was a exhibition of, and our first lesson in, the screwed up tipping system Americans are so enamoured with.

Please understand that we have just got off the plane and we have paid for the shuttle tickets by card. 
The bus driver takes us to the Century Centre, where we need to go, and as I get out of the bus I thank him for his services and mention that as we do not have any cash we cannot tip him, which from what we can tell should be $2.
His smile turns to a frown and his demeanour is one of agitation.
I'm not feeling good about this but I'm also thinking "Dude, it's $2! How bad are things for you that you need to behave like this for $2?"

My point is that this country, the USA, have put men on the moon, despite the fact they still measure things in feet and inches, and yet they go out of their way to pay people under minimum wage so that the onus of being "fair" falls on the paying public.

Before going to Hawaii we tried to educate ourselves on this weird tipping "thing" and attempted to find out what the rules or expectations were.

There are lots of sites with advice but below is generally what you will get.
Read it and weep.

There is no definitive answer, but I'll share with you my own personal tipping guidelines. If you think I've missed someone in my list, which is totally possible, just share your opinion in the section labeled Readers Respond at the end of this feature and we'll consider adding to the list.

At the Airport

Arrival - Most folks who arrive in the islands proceed directly to the luggage claim area and pick up their own bags. They then proceed to the rental car area, hotel shuttle, limo or taxi. If, however, you use the services of a luggage handler, you should tip $1-$2 per bag. If you take a shuttle bus to the car rental area, you should tip the shuttle driver $1 a bag minimum, especially if he or she helps you load and unload your bags from the shuttle.

Departure - If you take a shuttle bus from the car rental area, you should tip the shuttle driver $1 a bag minimum, especially if he or she helps you load and unload your bags from the shuttle. If you utilize curbside check-in or use the services of a luggage handler, you should tip $1-$2 per bag.

Taxis, Limos and Hotel Shuttles

For taxi and limo drivers you should tip 15% of the cost of the trip at minimum. If you use a courtesy hotel or resort shuttle, $1-$2 per bag is appropriate or $5 if you have only carry-on luggage.

At Your Hotel or Resort

Bellmen - If you utilize a bellman to take your bags to your room on arrival or from your room on checkout, you should tip at least $2 per bag. Generally I tip $5 for 2 bags and $10 for anything more. Keep in mind that the bell staff have great memories and the more you tip, the more they'll do the little things for you during your stay.

Front Desk - No tip is required for the staff member who checks you in.

Concierge - Generally no tip is required, but if a special service or special reservation is secured, a tip is always welcome.

Parking Attendant/Valet - If you valet park, you should tip $2-$3 each time you retrieve your car. No tip is required when you leave your car when you return to the hotel or resort. If the attendant gets you a cab, a tip of $2 is appropriate.

Hotel Housekeeping Staff - I generally tip $2 per day and more if housekeeping does a really excellent job. I leave the tip in an envelope on the bureau marked "Housekeeping" or hand the envelope to the housekeeper if he or she is on the floor when I depart.

Room Service - Read your room service menu carefully. Most resorts build in a 15-20% tip in the bill. If not, then add the appropriate tip.

At a Restaurant or Bar

If you are dining at a sit down restaurant or drinking at a bar, a tip of 15-20% is appropriate, just like on the mainland. I generally tip 20% for good service and more for superb service. If, by some chance you check a coat, a dollar or two is appropriate when you pick up your coat.

If you are eating at a lunch stand, shrimp truck or any similar take-out location, they will generally have a tip jar where a couple of dollars per person is appropriate. There is no need to tip at one of the nationally owned take-out restaurants, i.e. McDonald's, Wendy's, KFC etc. For more information check out The Basics of Restaurant Tipping by About.com Guide, Lorri Mealey.

Activity Providers/Tours

This, quite frankly, is the one area where most visitors fall short. They either don't tip their tour guide or leave a totally inadequate tip. It's also the hardest area to state definitively how much to tip since tour costs vary widely and the 15-20% rule simply doesn't apply in most cases. Here are some general guidelines:

1-2 Hour Guided Group Tours - A tip of $5 per person minimum is generally appropriate.

2-4 Hour Group Tours - A tip of $10 per person minimum is generally appropriate.

4 Hour to Full Day Group Tours - A tip of $20 per person minimum is generally appropriate.

Helicopter Tours - A tip of $10 per person to the pilot for a one hour flight is generally appropriate. If the pilot is very friendly and especially knowledgeable, I generally tip $20.

Boat/Sailing/Catamaran Tours - Most sailings last 3-4 hours, less for a sunset sail. I generally hand $10 to one of the crew upon departure, more for longer sailings or if the crew has been especially helpful.

Customized/Individual Tours - You will need to decide what you feel is appropriate based on the services rendered. Here the 15-20% rule is generally applicable.

Really? REALLY?!
Frankly, I'd rather learn the imperial measuring system. 
Then, to add insult to injury they have taxes and surcharges on some, but not all, bills as well environmental taxes added, and the Lord only knows what other ways of extracting money from you that we yet to discover 
Most of these are hidden taxes that are not mentioned and are only discovered after you have paid you bill.

Honestly America, get your act together! 
Pay your people fairly and skip all these bullsh!t taxes and the way you hide all the surcharges. 
Rant over.   

***

We then headed into Waikiki on foot.
We hadn't gone that far and Greg got that pale "Oh dear, I'm really not well" look on his face.
Thankfully there was a bus shelter close by so he sat down whilst we waited for a bus or cab. 
Finally a bus pulled up but we discovered that they do not give change, and as we only had $20 notes ,at that stage, what should have cost us $6 ($2 x 3) was going to cost us more than a cab. We caught the next cab instead. An $8, 10 minute drive with entertaining Korean cabby later we were out the front of Duke's.

Yes, Duke's, the very one and original.

We arrived at around midday, and Tiz's prior knowledge once again helped us get to where we were going with a minimum of fuss.

As we stepped inside one of the young waitresses said "You can sit anywhere there is a free table."

We picked one right on the rail. This is what we looked out to whilst we sat there enjoying our first few hours in Hawaii. 

Now that we were seated and comfortable the next order of business was - DRINKS!

First up, three Duke's Mai Tai's.

I knew we were on holidays because our drinks had umbrellas in them,

 but I had no idea what the water on the table was for.

Predictably, we all ordered burgers.

Very nice burgers they were too.

Who would have guessed they would come with a pickle and chips?! 

"Bloody kids! Always mucking around with the bloody phone.

 Put the bloody phone down and drink your Mai Tai!!"

As a joke we asked if there was a dessert menu.

The waitress said "We only have one dessert." with a big grin.

A place that has only one dessert is likely to have one really great dessert, I think.

We caved in and ordered it.

What you see above is a slice of chocolate covered coconut ice-cream with enough whipped cream on the side to start a porn franchise ..... or so I'm told.

I was delicious and our first experience of  "way over the top sized servings" 

we had heard so much about .

The aftermath.

None of us were going to do a George Calombaris, but we could have.

Some context on the pic above for the OS readers and non-Masterchef tragics.

The guy above is one of judges on MC and has many restaurants in Melbourne and Greece.

We have eaten at two of his places and they are both spectacular.

He is entertaining and a great chef.

Nonetheless, his table manners, as seen by viewers, are atrocious .... unlike we three, 

who have impeccable manners in all situations, regardless of whether we are in front of a camera or not.

We finished our lunch, paid our bill, including 20% because our waitress was "on the ball" and deserved it, regardless of the "rules".

We caught a cab to pick up our bags and I noticed that the driver was an elderly Vietnamese man.

Being the conversationalist that I am I said "You're Vietnamese?" 

"Yes" he said, with a smile.

"My daughter lives in Hanoi." I responded, thinking that it would entice some further conversation.

His bluntly delivered reply was "I am from Saigon." 

D'oh! 

It was one of those "Don't mention the war." moments.

Later we laughed about it.

We finally got the apartment and it was as expected.

Spacious, clean, well appointed and central.

A great base for us to do what we wanted.

The rest of the afternoon was spent wandering around the main street of Waikiki - Kalakaua Avenue.

It's a condensed version of how I remember Surfers Paradise, but with more, much more, money.

Loads of all flavours of tourists. From what I could hear they were mainly American mainlanders, Australians and Japanese. 

We were all three wearing thin by around 8pm and we decided to find somewhere cheap and cheerful and close to eat, that wasn't a fast fried food franchise.

It turned out to be not so easy. The entire area was bustling, with people everywhere, and every place that we wanted to go into was full.

We eventually found a divey little bar just around the corner from the apartment that served food.

It sat about 30 people and had a floor show MC'd by a truly awful Elvis impersonator.

The table full of Texan women next to us loved it. 

They come a place that has given us Johnny and Edgar Winter, ZZ Top, The Fabulous Thunderbirds, Kinky Friedman so what were they doing going wide on this Elvis wannabe?

There's no accounting for taste but these girls were chugging down mai tais and having a wow of a time, and good on them.

We ate quickly and split. We needed to get horizontal as it and been way too long since we had truly rested.

We were in bed by 10pm local time, which was ~34 hours after we had got out of bed on the Saturday.

  Aloha auinapo

(Good evening)

     

Leaving Melbourne on a Saturday afternoon

 The pre-booked "limo", which in fact was a late model Holden Statesman, picked us up at 3pm on the dot. 
A clean car with lots of room and a tidy young man driving it for $74 beats calling a taxi which could be in any condition and whose drivers seem to get worse as time goes by and you never know what it is going to cost.

The traffic was very light, by any standard, and we got to the airport in 30 minutes. 

Greg was allowed to travel in the car, rather than in the boot, which is where "cattle class" travellers would normally curl up.
As you can see from this photo he, Tiz and our driver, seem quite happy that he sat up front.

We arrived at the airport ridiculously early so we found a little bar and had gin tonic, which is a great way to start a holiday in the sun.

We checked our one bag in and joined the smaller queue for those lucky enough to fly at the "pointy end of the plane", aka Business Class. 

Yes, we've been lucky the last two flights we've had. For reason(s) unknown Jetstar have offered us upgrade at a paltry cost. 

One of our fellow passenger was Glenn Robbins, the well known Australian comedian.

It's funny how you imagine someone you only see on TV.

In this case he is taller, slimmer,  more sullen and much greyer than he appears on TV.

The flight itself was quite OK lasting a little over 10 hours. Sitting in seats that are wider and with a more legroom makes a lot of difference, but I still got precious little sleep.

Unfortunately Tiz and I got separated because we had not booked as a family. This happened because the booking system kept "falling over" whilst we were making our bookings and they saw us as two individuals, rather than a couple that should be kept together.

We were both in business class and only a few seats apart so it was not so bad.

The reason why they juggled people around was that a family of 8 had booked on late and they were trying to keep them together. They didn't manage to do that but they did manage to inconvenience a lot of other people with their version of musical chairs.  

Greg, way back in "Cattle Class" didn't do badly either. His exit seat was what a tall bloke needed. He was OK with it.

   

Attempt at assimilating with humans

I've been thinking about reducing my beard for a while but I generally like to have a reason for doing it. 
Yes, I know, not much logic in that.
Well, this morning I got up and decided that going to Hawaii is a good reason.

+

=

Yes, yes, I know. Not quite human yet. Baby steps, folks.

Preamble

It's Thursday night and we've had Angus and Emma over for dinner.
We're watching Masterchef, which I've likened to World Championship Wrestling of the '60's and '70's. 
The show that was hosted by Jack Little and was on at midday on a Sunday. It had "
"world famous" wrestler like  Mario Milano, Bulldog Brower, Andre the Giant and the Hawaiian Curtis Piehau Iaukea III, known as King Curtis.
Go take a look here for some real entertainment.
Yes it scripted entertaining BS which sucked in the viewer way beyond the level it deserved but it was the precursor to all "reality" TV that has followed.

I digress.

One of our favourite contestants got eliminated from Masterchef so I've decided to do something useful, like start this blog.

Why Hawaii?
It started as part of a much talked about trip which we had spoken about with our friend Greg.
The original intent was to stop in Hawaii for a few days and then head off to the US and do Route 66.
Not a bad plan? Great plan ..... until I started to delve into it the way I do for all our holidays.

The time slot was, due to both work needs and the desire for warm weather, end of July through to beginning of September. That would surely be enough to tick off all the things that one would do on Route 66,  we thought.
Route 66 just shy of 4000kms and it goes from Chicago, Illinois to Santa Monica, California.
As Greg intends to head on to the UK after our stay together, and it's considerably cheaper to rent motorbikes if one goes from west to east, we considered starting in California.

As riding for 4000kms for the sake of riding 4000kms alone is not exactly appealing, and would be an inhuman imposition on Tiz, we started to look at other thing that we would enjoy during the trip.

One of the first things that became very apparent, whilst looking at accommodation in particular, was that we are heading over in the middle of their very long holiday season.
This makes finding a place, any place, to sleep difficult and if you do it's at a premium price.  
We still weren't deterred and the search for more info continued.
We looked at the routes we could take,  given that  the original Route 66 is all but gone, or "decommissioned", as some put it.
There are several ways to roughly follow the old road. It depends on which guide or book or blog or clip you read or look at.

We also looked at what places and events we could take in around that time of year.
Lots of people suggested Disneyland, at the very start. Although I had already been, many years ago, I was happy to return with  Greg and Tiz.

Where to next? Although by no stretch of the imagination would the next suggestion be remotely close to Route 66, Las Vegas was suggested. Over the years I have known many people that have gone to 'Vegas and they have all loved it. 
No matter how enthusiastic they have been in there description of the place and the fun they had no one has ever convinced me that I might have fun there.

Then there was the plethora of cafes and truck stops that promise a taste of the old route, that again failed to appeal. They all seem so "try hard" and "dinky". 

But, there was one very bright glimmer of hope in all the dull suggestions and likely places to "enjoy" - Bonneville Speed Week.  Woohoo! A gearheads Mecca.
I have dreamt about attending this event since I got interested in going faster, at around age 12.
It is an event that is held on the Bonneville Salt Flats, which are about 2.5 hours drive west of Salt Lake City, in early August, condition permitting.
We started looking at what we needed to do if we wanted to attend, at least a few days.
As the nearest town, West Wendover, to the west, has every bed and square inch of "camp-able" dirt booked out for years in advance the nearest likely town to rest up for the night is Salt Lake City.
The logistics made little sense and given that it was cancelled last year due to unseasonal rain the risks of it not going ahead this year made it risky.

We tried to justify doing the trip but when all things were considered we decided that it just wasn't the thing to do.

Two weeks in the warmth of Hawaii drinking Mai Tai's and chasing a decent luau made a lot of sense, and was sealed as the right choice just days ago when the 2015 Bonneville Speed Week was cancelled, because of heavy rains, which I am sure have nothing to do with climate change.
If you doubt me you need to listen to idiots like our prime minister Tony Abbott on the subject.   

Before you go into a spin, the irony of a speed week being cancelled  by what I believe is a climatic condition, at least in part, caused by gas-guzzling emission spewing behemoths is not lost me.
We all have our contradictions, so please forgive me for my major one.

Let's move on.

We leave on Saturday 25th at 6pm. We fly for about 10 hours and we arrive at 8:30am on the same Saturday. Thankfully we get to turn left instead of right on this trip as well.
That and a pair of Bose Q25 should make the trip bearable.

We're going to spend one week in Oahu and one week in Maui.
We have an apartment booked on both islands through Airbnb and are renting a car, again, on both islands.

At this point we have a Mai Tai sunset cruise booked, a plan to drive to the north eastern corner of both islands to hopefully spectate some reasonable size surf, spend a while on a waverider and pretty well anything else that takes our fancy.
No plans set in concrete other than relaxing our weary bones and taking it easy.



To achieve said state of relaxation  I'm thinking along the lines of a bit of this ...

... and some of this ...

... and bit of this ...

... and a whole lot of this!

Yep, it'll be a tough gig but we have an A1 crew that are up for the challenge. 

We come back on the weekend of 8th/9th August.

It should be one of the more laid back holidays we have had in long, long while and makes a pleasant change from some of the more intense jam packed ones we have had in recent years.

Mahalo, for joining us in our travels via the blog and we hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoy writing it.